Luke Wilson

I used to like Luke Wilson. He was cute in Legally Blonde, funny in That 70s Show, he rolls with Wes Anderson once in awhile.

But now-- now...

I want to punch him in the mouth.

Too many AT&T commercials, too often, no emotion. I actually want to cancel my AT&T service because of those commercials. Seriously.

Second: I'm an aunt! (Sort of). Colin's brother's wife had a baby on February 28, 2010. Her name is Clare Mae Morrissey, and I love her already even though we've never met. And I CAN'T wait to meet her! We will be friends, I think.

Now, can we talk about the Bachelor? What the H was Jake thinking? I have not spoken to anyone who has even liked Vienna a little bit. She is 5 years old and annoying and has trashy fake blonde hair and a tramp stamp. Get real. Tenely was so perfect for Jake, and he will regret his decision.

Okay, now I've got that off my chest and I don't have to think about it any more.

Annnd, this is a crappy entry tonight, but I have a quiz tomorrow, and I have to study.

*K

I Fell In Love By The Seaside

I Fell In Love By The Seaside
By Kelsey Knoedler

I fell in love
By the seaside
By the seaside
In my red coat
In December
On the coldest day of the year
At the end of the pier
By the lighthouse

As you talked to the seal
By the seaside
By the seaside
And he stuck out his whiskers
And you kissed back
And called him Humphrey
And you held my hand
In your pocket

I fell in love
By the seaside
By the seaside
As we pulled apart pieces of fish
And ate it with our fingers
And the vinegar
From the chips
Stung my hangnail

As we waited for the train
By the seaside
By the seaside
On a bench
Near Dublin
Where the air
Left salt
On my lips

The taste of bonfire and new friends

So there's this boy (gasp! a BOY?) in my poetry class and his name is Matthew and he is super cool and Katie and I totally had "friend crushes" on him all semester. He goes to Holy Cross. He invited us to his birthday party last night, and we totally went. We weren't sure what to expect, mostly because we'd never really had a conversation with him before and didn't know any of his friends.

Katie and I went with Emily, another girl in our poetry class, and she drove which was super nice of her. We were slightly scared about the whole situation, but we bit the bullet and went in. And...

everyone was SO nice! We weren't halfway through the door when Matthew's friends started chatting with us. There were lots of people there, and we met almost everyone throughout the night. Even the girls were really nice and friendly, and the guys were all very friendly without hitting on us, which was very much appreciated and made for an uber fun night. We met Nate, a German enthusiast-- as in he was obsessed with all things German. Leo, he was the other birthday boy, was super funny, and Leo and Matthew were both wearing Princess headbands. Oh, and there was a chihuahua there, and I'd never seen one in real life. It was freaky and I didn't touch it. Anyway, we met redheaded Katie and Alexis who was hilarious, and Anthony who was HILarious and had a beautiful voice. Quote of the night: "SOMEone is going to get pregnant tonight; the playlist I made is SO sexy." -Anthony... and Alexander, Matt's roommate, who goes by Alexander and not Alex because he's named after Alexander the Great. And Ryan who looked like he had pink eye, but apparently it was a cheerleading injury. And Melissa who was co-hosting the party and had the cutest little boy who I offered to babysit for. And Dan who's planning on going to Ireland with Matthew through Saint Mary's and spilled an entire bottle of beer on the floor right when we got to the party. And another Matt who says he was a hockey player. And lots of other super nice and interesting people. And AND there was this wonderful delicious heavenly dessert that included ice cream sandwiches, cool whip, and snickers.

Annnnyway, three cheers for new Holy Cross friends. Hopefully we'll get to hang with them some more before (don't say it).... graduation.

It's never too late to make new friends.

"Hi, Mom"

Has this ever happened to you?

You're in a public bathroom, minding your own business, when the person in the stall next to you says "hello?"

And you think-- why is this person talking to me? Do they like my shoes? Are they out of toilet paper and need me to pass some over?

And just as you are about to answer "hi" back, you realize that they're on the phone with their mom or their boyfriend or someone they feel comfortable enough with to talk to on the pot. Their cell was on silent, so you didn't hear it ring. And you feel like such an ass when you realize it.

This has happened to me more than once, and upon telling my friends about it at lunch today, I found out that this isn't something that happens to everyone.

Don't talk to your friends and family (or anyone) on the phone in a public bathroom, please. And if you do, answer the phone "hi, mom," or "hey, Cory," or something that lets the people in the other stalls know that you're not talking to them.

Thank you.

Kelsey

Legs

A new razor

Is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. You never cut yourself shaving, and when you get out of the shower, your legs are so insanely soft and they stay that way and not prickly till the end of the day. And when you go to bed at night in shorts cuz it's warm under your blankets, your legs are so smooth against the soft of the sheets and you curl up in a ball and feel just you.

***

I shave my legs every day. Most people think I'm crazy. Correction: most girls think I'm crazy. When I tell people, they look at me like I just said I love chocolate chips with ketchup and they say something like "I don't have time for that," "I haven't shaved in, like, two months," or something that makes me feel very anti-feminist.

Let's just get this straight: I shave my legs every day because I love the feel of my legs, smooth against the soft of my sheets. And if I don't shave my legs, then the prickles rub against my jeans and IT HURTS! I haven't seen my boyfriend in two months, and still shave my legs every single day. MY legs are smooth like the hood of my car and soft like fresh mashed potatoes on my tongue. My legs are soft and smooth for me. I am a woman.

***

Let me tell you something about my legs-- I have sausage legs. They are a bit plump, yes, but that's not why I call them sausage legs.

Do you know, when you have raw sausage, and it's in the package, and it's all red and white and splotchy? That's what my legs look like all the time. All red and splotchy. Bad circulation. If I lean them up against the end of the couch and let the blood rush to my center, my legs look normal for once. Just bright white. Soft and smooth. Or if I rub them down with lotion-- for just a second after they're all lotiony-- my legs are normal for once. Just bright white. Soft and smooth.

But most of the time, I have sausage legs.

The Corners of My Dreams

(a sestina for my poetry class)

I dream about you every night.
You’re not always the center of my dreams,
But you’re always somewhere, in a corner,
Looking on with a mischievous smile,
And holding my heart
In your pocket for safe-keeping.

On Monday night I dreamed
I was at that bakery on the corner
But you were the baker, with funny hat and wide smile.
You handed me a freshly-baked heart-
Shaped cookie, and I gave you a five and said keep
The change. I left the shop, and it was suddenly night.

On Tuesday you were standing on the corner
As I passed by you in the current of the smiling
Crowd, I felt a shiver in my heart.
I glanced your way and caught your eye but kept
Swimming with the crowd. And the stars that night
Sprinkled their light on the two of us dreamers.

On Thursday morning I woke with a smile
And felt my hammering heart.
I tried to fall back to sleep so I could keep
Dreaming of you like I had through the night.
I couldn’t fall back into the dream,
But I sighed when I saw your boots in the corner.

When your ship is at sea and my heart
Is longing for the rasp of your voice, I keep
Your love in my jewelry box and open it at night
And out pours the music of our dreams
For the future, and it fills the corners
Of the lonely room, and I remember how to smile.

Last night as I was sleeping, I kept
Waking, thinking I heard your breathing in the night
Air, but then I remembered that it is only in my dreams
That I will feel the soft breath from the corners
Of your soft sleeping smile
Until you return and breathe some life back into my heart.

I think that when I dream of you, it’s my heart’s
Way of smiling and telling me to keep
You. And I can’t wait to fall asleep in my bed in my corner.

So Over the Olympics

Am I the only one who is not turned on at all by the Olympics? I just don't really get it. Okay, I can get into skating once in awhile because it's like a dance-- entertainment. But skiing, curling, all this other crap-- I just don't get it. Every one seems to be obsessed with it, and I feel pretty left out. I mean, it doesn't bother me. My roommates have it on all the time, and I don't mind having it on the background, but it's just boring.

On a related note, there was a girl on the Olympics (skiing I think) that's named Kelsey and it really freaks me out to hear my name on TV. When I was growing up, I was the oldest Kelsey in my town. There were no Kelseys in my class, and there were only 2 Kelseys that were ever in my school with me. I liked being the only Kelsey, and I prefer that there be no other Kelseys around me-- so here's a shout out to all the Kelseys out there: don't try to be my friend.

I have a bio quiz tomorrow and I just realized it. F. Gotta go study.